Tuesday, June 28, 2005

i'm out of title coz i am very angry and upset now..
why they make it difficult..
it's not that hard.. just release a letter then everything is settled..
satu alasan tak boleh diterima..
nanti kalau orang tanya saya nak jawab apa..
that's why you re only fit to be govt servant..

p/s: am very pissed with one the govt servant here sebab takmo bayar claim kitorang with too many excuses.. benci.. benci... benci...

Friday, June 24, 2005

a week of joy?

our weekend starts with ardi went for a futsal friendly match.. then he injured himself sebabnya marahkan teammate dia main tak betul.. tu lar.. kan dah aku susah.. hahaha.. so he supposed to play on sunday for futsal tourney.. but end-up on bed tak boleh bangun cause his lutut was badly sore... so he rested for the day.. so do we.. {my in-laws were not around so i can be lazy at home.. hehehe.. } sedar2 the three of us were asleep and we supposed to go for a wedding.. and it was already 2pm, asked ardi whether he wants to go or I cook.. in the end.. we went for the wedding.. {that's why we're late caza}.. went home.. tried to have more sleep.. hahah.. but failed.. have to go to clinic and asked for MC.. still not recovered..

F1 was definitely s***s.. michelin was so damn stupid.. what's wrong with the engineers.. FIA was even worst... but Ferrarri was really really worst and stupid and ... okey it was not their fault but for the sake of sportmanship.. give in laaa...

here come monday.. ardi was home but he got some problems with his projects at Canon and everybody called him.. he was so frustrated coz tdo kena kacau.. hehe.. he wanted to go to specialist to x-ray his knee but then changed his mind.. and tuesday.. have to go to clinic.. 2 days MC were given.. bestnya... then he kept calling me.. to go home a.s.a.p.. even persuade me to watch star wars... day 1.. manage to tell him.. have lots of work to be done... day 2.. failed.. so by 11.30am, am off to shah alam.. picked him up and straight to Sunway Pyramid.. yah yah yah... {caza.. lambat sangat tunggu ko.. gi dulu ek!}.. check the phone nobody call.. yahuu!! then.. my dr stein melody bunyi... aiseh boss call.. kantoi laa plak... nasib baik on the way out.. lega.. he didn't asked where I was {he was at another office}.. just asked few questions on some issues that we currently have.. okey.. settle... long john silver.. have some fish n chips.. then.. mannnn.. there's a called from office... sapa lak ni... ooo.. my colleague.. aiseh! my bos is at my office now.. looked for me.. wanted to talk with me... well.. he asked where i put this letter.. and this and that,... allah.. tanya lak ada kat mana.. spontaneously.. HOSPITAL.. iskkkk.... then few more calls.. and more and more... why lar this people ek.. when i am at the office nobody wants to call.. but when i am not ath office..suma call.. cam tau2 je..

thursday.. meeting.. meeting... and today...

wrap-up... best gak dapat mengular gi tgk wayang... with hubby lagi.. bukannya senang.. eheheheh.. finally.. revenge of the sith..

{aku tengok yoda cam anisah..}

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

friends - part II

had a great weekend with the CHIs.. pandai korang ek pilih rumah aku.. anyway.. we had fun although it was very short.. well since we can't spend overnight at each other house anymore.. so this is the best we can do now.. hope we can do more of this.. but if we can do at least once a year besides raya and other special occasion that will be nice laa... maybe by then we already growing our CHIs...

Thursday, June 09, 2005


when my friends are fighting, i feel sad...

i don't have many friends so i value all of them..

so is the terms 'friends forever' really exist?

i don't know....

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

i remembered...

uhuuu.. realize i haven't been updating this since.. wow.. 2 months ago.. the first one month, i was in johor bahru.. telling everybody i have course to attend in JB.. but actually all I wanted to was to take care of ayah.. but it never happened.. he passed away 12 hours after I arrived in JB ready to be his 'nurse'..

then, i have doubts whether to stay or to go back to Shah Alam.. abang and akak really wanted me to stay to take care of emak while she's recovering from sadness, ardi said up to me.. after much thought, i stayed for a month.. well to exact for 6 weeks..

when ayah final moment, i was the only real person who was beside him, i was the one who feed him his final drinks with air zam-zam, i remembered he asked emak to go and pray solat Zuhur, i remebered he was sweating like rain but his body was really cold, i remembered when anisah was trying to drink his air zam-zam and he looked at anisah to hold her, but if i knew that was his final moment, i will let an isah played with him for a while, instead i pulled anisah away, i remembered when he told me he can't see a thing, 'GELAP', that's what he said, i switched on the lights and he said it's still dark, i remembered when i tried to give him more air zam-zam, he asked me to stop and he hugged me really hard although early that morning he can't even hold a piece of tissue, i remembered when everybody asked to move away so that he can stretch out his leg, i tried but he kept hugging me, at last i pulled away, we laid him down on the floor, i remembered when i tried to massage him, my uncle said no, i remembered seeing emak was kissing his face over and over to wake him up, i remembered i called abang and akak to tell them to come back as soon as possible (abang had appointment with contractor and akak send our cousin to hospital, that's why i feed him).. i remembered when akak arrived, she was stunned, i remembered when abang arrived, he felt on his knees, i remembered when ee called i can hear his voices were crying, i remembered when i called ardi to come back a.s.a.p with boy (my brother-in-law), i remembered when the dr said he may still alive and asked us to bring to the hospital, i remembered when mak said no when the ambulance had arrived, let him died peacefully, i remembered when the man were showering his final bath, i remembered when they wore him his last clothes, i remembered when we had to kiss him final goodbye, even anisah did that, and we waied for his in-laws (ardi and boy) to arrive for their final kiss, then i remembered we prayed him for the very last time, i remembered when they brought him down and finally put him in the van to his final resting place, i didnt go to the kubur (had period) and accompany mak... that was our final goodbye to him... i know that event will always fresh in mind... and i will always remember ayah...