Raya 2005

today is 12 Syawal 1426...

this raya was not the same as before.. for the first time ever, we had to celebrate it without our beloved father who passed away 7 months earlier.. we had to spent this raya here in Shah Alam/KL since my sister-in-law was due soon.. and it was different.. although we spent the raya together on the 1st Syawal (except for Abang).. it was different... we didn't got to eat either ayah's (definitely) and mak's (even!) dishes.. what we ate was what other families cook for us.. yes it was different.. and i didn't get to fill up my empty stomach like i used to do.. cause it was different..

i managed not to cry during the raya.. but i did cried few days before raya.. somebody reminded me of ayah and it was really sad.. the only happy moments for me during the raya was to dressed up my little girl, anisah.. to see her with her baju kurung (first ever!).. and to see her had such a wonderful time with ardi's cousin..

this weekend, am going back to JB.. my brother is going to host an open house (plus house warming and doa selamat)... although it will be 2 weeks after raya.. but to go back to JB for the occassion makes me feel like 'balik kampung' for the raya..

i just wish.. next year.. although the feeling might be the same.. but the environment will be different...