2nd April..

Setiap tahun aku akan letak blog ni. This is to commemorate my father, Hj Abas bin Hj Magu who passed away exactly 3 years ago due to liver cancer. Masih segar lagi kat ingatan ni how he passed away. You may go here.

As you grow older you never realize how much you needed your parents. At least I do. I need my father's advice in almost everything. On my career, my marriage, my kids, buying a house, buying a car. In fact almost everything.

I am proud of my father. He's willing to sacrifice his career for the love of my mother. He was a Religious Officer back in Sarawak. His work required him to move around. That was why my elder brother was born in Simanggang and my sister was born in Limbang. But then my late grandparents were not so happy with his moving around thingy. So they bought a land in Larkin, JB, built a shophouse and asked my parents to take care of it. So that was why I ended up born in Singapore (while waiting for the house to be ready) and my other brothers born in Johor Bahru. He became a shopkeeper (that's what they used to call) for almost 20 years before we rented out the shop. It was a sad moment for us to finally close down the shop. I still remembered I went back from Banting just to observe the handover. We did the inventories together.

But my father was a very determine person. Although he lost his only 'punca rezeki', he tried everything he could to support us. After I left for the States, he went to Kuching leave my mother in JB. At the moment, it seemed that my family was dysfuntional a bit. Ayah in Sarawak, Mak in JB, Abang in KL, Akak in Ireland, I was in the States and EE was in boarding school in JB. Some people even accused him of brought all the money to Sarawak and dumped it to his family. Well, if he did, what's the problem? He had every right to do so. His mum was there and all his siblings.

When I got back to Malaysia, he asked me to get a car. So me and him went to the showrooms, searched high and low for the car. And finally, he told me to get a Proton Wira Sedan 1.5. Then, he decided to open a Nasi Campur stall in our of the restaurants. He definitely loved it. Mak were not even allowed to cut the vegetables. Actually so did I but I always insisted to help him. But it was not long last. For some reason, the owner decided to let the stall which only opened at night to operate in the afternoon as well. Ayah was so frustrated. So he decided to stop the operation although the owner tried to persuade my father not to do so. But too late. (Ini lar dia orang Melayu yang tak boleh tengok orang Melayu senang). Then one of my uncle asked him to join him to open another stall saying that you can sell whatever you want. No need to pay the rental or the utilities bill. Until the bill came out, he asked for the money. Bloody hell! But my father was very patience and said he also wanted to sell some noodles. But my uncle objected by saying that the stall couldn't sold noodle since there were agreement with the other stalls. But then few days after that, he asked my aunty to sell noodles. So since our very 'wonderful' relatives acted like that he decided to quit after all. So he backed to sell nasi lemak every morning and goreng pisang every evening. Although he only made RM100 a day (sometime less), he was happy.

But now he's no longer alive. I knew that so much in his life that he couldn't achieve. He always told me what kind of house he would like to have. Not a shophouses, not a single storey houses. He wanted a double story so that the kitchen is separated with the rooms and the kitchen will always clean. Somehow we are not able to make his wishes come true. He passed away when we all start to have life of our own. Abang's house was almost ready when he passed away. So he did not have the chance to stay even a day in his children house. That is the whole reason why I wanted my own house so much. I did not want to end up like my father. Luckily Ardi finally understood why it is very important to me.

I love my father very much and to this date I always tell Anisah how her atuk really loves her. Anisah seems to remember her atuk whenever she looked at the picture she will say that the man in the picture is her atuk. (Anisah was the onlyLast February, I went back home to JB, we visited my father grave. Anisah was asking why are we here. So I told her that her atuk is now here. And the other day, I bought some goreng pisang. She wanted to save it for her atuk when her atuk wake up from the tanah. I feel so sad but happy as well. Although Anisah does not understand but she remembers her atuk and I will teach Amil to remember him as well. I hope my brothers and sister will teach their children to do the same. Although he was no longer with us, I always feel his presence.

"Semoga roh Hj Abas bin Hj Magu ditempatkan di tempat yang mulia. Amin."